Positive Gratification
There's nothing better than walking out of my room feeling put together. Especially when I manage to do it in less than 15 minutes.
After donning my new coat, killer glasses, adorable purse and shoes, I strode out of my dorm like I owned this campus. Cause let's face it, I do.
And the best thing is when people stop me to say, "that's an awesome jacket," when I know I only spent about $12 on it.
I'm even having a good hair day.
Life is good.
If only I didn't have this test in 1.5 hours that I still haven't really prepared for.
Oh well... better to fail in style than not, no?
Monday, March 31, 2003
Sunday, March 30, 2003
Let it Snow?
No, I'm not being quirky because, yes, it is snowing. It's supposed to be 80 by Thursday. I really do enjoy VA weather, it keeps me on my toes and I can have fun with the full spectrum of my outfits in the space of a week!
Doesn't do much for my sinuses thogh, ugh. You'd think they have some pill to cure sinsitis. And allergies. And the rest of the medical problems that I've inherited (thanks Dad!).
It's really pretty outside though. I wish the snow was sticking. Cause then we'd have 3 fun inches to play in and I could skip work. I hate being tied to this town every weekend. In fact I'm highly resentful. Why am I the only one who can do my job?? It's not that hard. Oh wait it is, and oh wait I'm not the only one who can do it I'm just the only one who's willing to for the amount that I get paid. People doing similar shit as me are making $30+ grand a year. That would be nice. Sigh.
On another note I had a fantasmagorical weekend, in every sense of the word. Alex is awesome, Jen and Lisa and Amanda are awesome, Billy is awesome, and AJ is the best bestfriend a gal could hope for - in other words she's beyond awesome. I'll miss you girlie.. can't wait till summer:)
Now I think it's time to go back to bed. Being awake is overrated.
No, I'm not being quirky because, yes, it is snowing. It's supposed to be 80 by Thursday. I really do enjoy VA weather, it keeps me on my toes and I can have fun with the full spectrum of my outfits in the space of a week!
Doesn't do much for my sinuses thogh, ugh. You'd think they have some pill to cure sinsitis. And allergies. And the rest of the medical problems that I've inherited (thanks Dad!).
It's really pretty outside though. I wish the snow was sticking. Cause then we'd have 3 fun inches to play in and I could skip work. I hate being tied to this town every weekend. In fact I'm highly resentful. Why am I the only one who can do my job?? It's not that hard. Oh wait it is, and oh wait I'm not the only one who can do it I'm just the only one who's willing to for the amount that I get paid. People doing similar shit as me are making $30+ grand a year. That would be nice. Sigh.
On another note I had a fantasmagorical weekend, in every sense of the word. Alex is awesome, Jen and Lisa and Amanda are awesome, Billy is awesome, and AJ is the best bestfriend a gal could hope for - in other words she's beyond awesome. I'll miss you girlie.. can't wait till summer:)
Now I think it's time to go back to bed. Being awake is overrated.
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
A True Aesthetic
I commented sometime last week in one of my journals that I wanted to be a true aesthetic. We're studying Victorian Lit in Brit Lit right now, and there were a lot of true aesthetics in the Victorian Age.
I am, unfortunately, too jaded to be one such. But I still appreciate beauty, mostly in nature though it does reach over to the world of man as well.
These thoughts were brought on by the blooming flowers and searing heat outside. I adore the Spring time. Everything is blooming and soon the trees will be awash with color and the air will be enriched with the scent of a hundred varieties of flowers.
I love this time of year.
On a more shallow note, I tan easily in this sort of weather. Soon I'll be able to wear whatever color I please without having to worry about looking washed out.
Ahh the joys of warm weather:)
I commented sometime last week in one of my journals that I wanted to be a true aesthetic. We're studying Victorian Lit in Brit Lit right now, and there were a lot of true aesthetics in the Victorian Age.
I am, unfortunately, too jaded to be one such. But I still appreciate beauty, mostly in nature though it does reach over to the world of man as well.
These thoughts were brought on by the blooming flowers and searing heat outside. I adore the Spring time. Everything is blooming and soon the trees will be awash with color and the air will be enriched with the scent of a hundred varieties of flowers.
I love this time of year.
On a more shallow note, I tan easily in this sort of weather. Soon I'll be able to wear whatever color I please without having to worry about looking washed out.
Ahh the joys of warm weather:)
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
Your magical style is Druidic.
What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox
You Can Run, But I'll Still Catch You
That's my theme for this year's Junior Ring Week. Kind of a twist on an old saying as it were. Because you really can hide, and I'm not patient enough to go looking. I'm in the middle of arranging fun times for our dear HC president and the rest of the juniors. Poor Reag was attacked by student senate or something last night. He's probably going to continue getting bombarded the rest of this week.
So glad I'm not a junior.
I'm a little peeved that they haven't refilled the fountain yet. I seem to recall the same thing last year, they wanted to minimize the amount of juniors that go swimming (or rather are forced to go swimming) this week I suppose. But still, takes some of the fun out of it. And it's a really nice week. There's no reason that it shouldn't be full....
All of this makes me worry slightly about next year though. Cause everyone keeps telling me I'm going to need to watch out, they'll come back to get me. Ah well, anyone up for a late spring break next year? To the Caribbean maybe? For a week? haha.
That's all for now. Oh, and if you're a junior, I'll be seeing you;)
That's my theme for this year's Junior Ring Week. Kind of a twist on an old saying as it were. Because you really can hide, and I'm not patient enough to go looking. I'm in the middle of arranging fun times for our dear HC president and the rest of the juniors. Poor Reag was attacked by student senate or something last night. He's probably going to continue getting bombarded the rest of this week.
So glad I'm not a junior.
I'm a little peeved that they haven't refilled the fountain yet. I seem to recall the same thing last year, they wanted to minimize the amount of juniors that go swimming (or rather are forced to go swimming) this week I suppose. But still, takes some of the fun out of it. And it's a really nice week. There's no reason that it shouldn't be full....
All of this makes me worry slightly about next year though. Cause everyone keeps telling me I'm going to need to watch out, they'll come back to get me. Ah well, anyone up for a late spring break next year? To the Caribbean maybe? For a week? haha.
That's all for now. Oh, and if you're a junior, I'll be seeing you;)
Monday, March 24, 2003
Enter Cool Titile Here
So my creative juices have ceased to flow for the moment. That's ok though. I'm sure they'll come back.
My predictions were correct (of course, as I am always right), I did have an excellent weekend. And I'm hopeful that those with whom I shared my weekend enjoyed themselves as well.
It's been wonderful seeing my girls, who got along beautifully of course. I love everybody. I'm just in one of those moods today.
Smile;)
So my creative juices have ceased to flow for the moment. That's ok though. I'm sure they'll come back.
My predictions were correct (of course, as I am always right), I did have an excellent weekend. And I'm hopeful that those with whom I shared my weekend enjoyed themselves as well.
It's been wonderful seeing my girls, who got along beautifully of course. I love everybody. I'm just in one of those moods today.
Smile;)
Friday, March 21, 2003
Nostalgia Ensues Yet Again
I'm awake right now for no other reason than to sit and read about this past year. Why did last semester suck so much? I re-read my blog from the beginning, slightly surprised that I only began it less than a year ago - in April.
I left a LOT of details out of my life... such as is always the case when it comes to me making my private life and thoughts public. Often times my friends laugh at me for sharing too much information, but at the same time there are things about me that no one knows.
I didn't finish reading about last semester, because I really need to get more sleep and actually study for this quiz I have today - for the first time I don't completely get the material we're being quizzed on, mainly because it's memorization rather than concepts and we all know how my brain works.
Reading though made me miss Lindsay and AJ tons... I can't believe that they're both going to be here this weekend. I'm slightly unsure what to do about it too...
They're both my best friends but from seperate spheres of my life. I feel like I need to spend solo time with both of them - but still where will I find the time? And that if I force them to hang out with each other I'll be selling someone short and will cause feelings of resentment. Ah well. I'm sure that all of my fears are unfounded - I have the most caring and understanding best friends in the universe.
This is going to be a good weekend.
I'm awake right now for no other reason than to sit and read about this past year. Why did last semester suck so much? I re-read my blog from the beginning, slightly surprised that I only began it less than a year ago - in April.
I left a LOT of details out of my life... such as is always the case when it comes to me making my private life and thoughts public. Often times my friends laugh at me for sharing too much information, but at the same time there are things about me that no one knows.
I didn't finish reading about last semester, because I really need to get more sleep and actually study for this quiz I have today - for the first time I don't completely get the material we're being quizzed on, mainly because it's memorization rather than concepts and we all know how my brain works.
Reading though made me miss Lindsay and AJ tons... I can't believe that they're both going to be here this weekend. I'm slightly unsure what to do about it too...
They're both my best friends but from seperate spheres of my life. I feel like I need to spend solo time with both of them - but still where will I find the time? And that if I force them to hang out with each other I'll be selling someone short and will cause feelings of resentment. Ah well. I'm sure that all of my fears are unfounded - I have the most caring and understanding best friends in the universe.
This is going to be a good weekend.
Thursday, March 20, 2003
Bite Me Hard
That used to be my saying. Until my mom told my brother to actually bite me. Then I stopped. Cause bite marks are not cosmetic. Trust me.
So I cleaned up my room today. Kinda. I actually just stuffed my clothing in all of my drawers... I'm going to have to go back and rearrange it later.. cause I'm anal like that. Yes, my drawers and closet are arranged by type, color, and style. And season.
Oh my. Do I need professional help? haha.
That used to be my saying. Until my mom told my brother to actually bite me. Then I stopped. Cause bite marks are not cosmetic. Trust me.
So I cleaned up my room today. Kinda. I actually just stuffed my clothing in all of my drawers... I'm going to have to go back and rearrange it later.. cause I'm anal like that. Yes, my drawers and closet are arranged by type, color, and style. And season.
Oh my. Do I need professional help? haha.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
"Bang Head Here"
I need a sign on my wall that says that. Because I seem to be doing it a lot of late, might as well designate a spot.
What is it about me that makes me a carpet? I like to think of myself as a strong person. But lately I've come to the conclusion that I really must be weak because I allow myself to get pushed around.
I hate it when people refuse to help themselves. Maybe that's where I'm strong, in that I'm not afraid to stand alone and be independant. I may not like it sometimes, and it may be difficult, but I can do it.
I've gone through some seriously fucked up relationships in the past few months. Is this a reflection of me? Or just of my poor judgement? At any rate... the future is looking promising. Pray for me on this one...
I had an amazingly fun lunch today with Jen and Krys. Thank you ladies for listening to me alternately bitch and swoon. And for offering sound advice about my current issues. I think they're dealt with for some time now, sooner than I would have pushed... but I suppose in that I've never been one to take the initiative. At least I don't feel like I'm walking on a tightrope anymore.
Freedom is a heady yet heavy feeling. I love you all.
I need a sign on my wall that says that. Because I seem to be doing it a lot of late, might as well designate a spot.
What is it about me that makes me a carpet? I like to think of myself as a strong person. But lately I've come to the conclusion that I really must be weak because I allow myself to get pushed around.
I hate it when people refuse to help themselves. Maybe that's where I'm strong, in that I'm not afraid to stand alone and be independant. I may not like it sometimes, and it may be difficult, but I can do it.
I've gone through some seriously fucked up relationships in the past few months. Is this a reflection of me? Or just of my poor judgement? At any rate... the future is looking promising. Pray for me on this one...
I had an amazingly fun lunch today with Jen and Krys. Thank you ladies for listening to me alternately bitch and swoon. And for offering sound advice about my current issues. I think they're dealt with for some time now, sooner than I would have pushed... but I suppose in that I've never been one to take the initiative. At least I don't feel like I'm walking on a tightrope anymore.
Freedom is a heady yet heavy feeling. I love you all.
Monday, March 17, 2003
About Jane and Florida
Sh0rTcHiCa: hey:-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: did you get my message? and how did your paper go?
greinlady: hey chicklette, good timing
greinlady: just finished
greinlady: yes i got you msg
Sh0rTcHiCa: cool beans
Sh0rTcHiCa: and good job!
greinlady: thnx
greinlady: so whats up?
greinlady: how was sleeping with jayne eyre?
Sh0rTcHiCa: lol
Sh0rTcHiCa: you mean sleeping ON her:-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: and not bad, though i think i left a drool stain
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha
Sh0rTcHiCa: j/k
greinlady: lol oh i see
greinlady: ewww im sure that turned her on
Sh0rTcHiCa: hehe
Sh0rTcHiCa: you know it did;-)
greinlady: yeah
greinlady: it would me
Sh0rTcHiCa: hehe
Sh0rTcHiCa: :-)
greinlady: i responded on ur entry
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok
Sh0rTcHiCa: thanks
--edited for content--
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeah i think i just need to get away
greinlady: O:-)
greinlady: yeah
greinlady: but where are u going to go?
Sh0rTcHiCa: somewhere sunny for grad school
greinlady: serious!
Sh0rTcHiCa: what do you wanna do after college?
greinlady: um i dont know
greinlady: live with you somewhere sunny
greinlady: like florida
greinlady: :-)
greinlady: have fun
greinlady: i dont think i want to do grad school though
Sh0rTcHiCa: we should go to the same city and live together:-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeah florida!!!
greinlady: most definetly
greinlady: im down
greinlady: here's the plan
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok
Sh0rTcHiCa: oh i was thinking of taking a year off ater college though
Sh0rTcHiCa: to work
Sh0rTcHiCa: cause i'm poor
greinlady: we can graduate and move to florida and start kinda from scratch and work and just try to build up our lives, perfectly fine we can work :-) and ill try to get a job in interenational business or business in florida, but that will take some time i'm sure, so just doing whatever until i get in
greinlady: and then u can go to grad school
greinlady: or we can take a year after school
greinlady: live at home, save money
greinlady: move to florida
greinlady: and u start grad school and i try and start the work force
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeah:-) it acually might be beter if we move first... i dunno
Sh0rTcHiCa: but that would be SOOOO awesome:-)
greinlady: we can see closer the time
greinlady: yeah it would
greinlady: because i dont want to live in new york or la or anything, but florida would be the right atmosphere for international business and i really want to settle back east
greinlady: i love ca, but i couldnt live here forever
greinlady: too expensive
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeppers:-)
greinlady: and warm weather would make us happy
Sh0rTcHiCa: i wonder how it is in florida...
Sh0rTcHiCa: and beaches!!
greinlady: yeh!
greinlady: and cute boys!
Sh0rTcHiCa: yay!!!!!
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok i'm sold
Sh0rTcHiCa: hehe
greinlady: i dont know, but it doesn't matter if we stay there forever, it would just be an experience for us
greinlady: develop our character :-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: exactly:-)
greinlady: how exciting
Sh0rTcHiCa: plus i wanna live somewhere other than fred'burg while i'm still young and beautiful!
greinlady: we're moving to florida!
Sh0rTcHiCa: lol
greinlady: good call
greinlady: but you will always be beautiful ;-)
greinlady: and young at heart
Sh0rTcHiCa: lol
Sh0rTcHiCa: i hope so!!!!
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha
greinlady: i know so
greinlady: but listen, ive got to walk this paper over
greinlady: ill be back in a bit
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok have fun:-)
greinlady: oh you know it
greinlady: and i have nothing to do later ifyou are still on
Sh0rTcHiCa: i'll be here with jane;-)
greinlady: ask her if she wants to come to florida with us :-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha yeah i'm on for another 3 hours of procrastination till bella
greinlady: bye sweetie
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha ok bye:-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: hey:-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: did you get my message? and how did your paper go?
greinlady: hey chicklette, good timing
greinlady: just finished
greinlady: yes i got you msg
Sh0rTcHiCa: cool beans
Sh0rTcHiCa: and good job!
greinlady: thnx
greinlady: so whats up?
greinlady: how was sleeping with jayne eyre?
Sh0rTcHiCa: lol
Sh0rTcHiCa: you mean sleeping ON her:-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: and not bad, though i think i left a drool stain
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha
Sh0rTcHiCa: j/k
greinlady: lol oh i see
greinlady: ewww im sure that turned her on
Sh0rTcHiCa: hehe
Sh0rTcHiCa: you know it did;-)
greinlady: yeah
greinlady: it would me
Sh0rTcHiCa: hehe
Sh0rTcHiCa: :-)
greinlady: i responded on ur entry
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok
Sh0rTcHiCa: thanks
--edited for content--
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeah i think i just need to get away
greinlady: O:-)
greinlady: yeah
greinlady: but where are u going to go?
Sh0rTcHiCa: somewhere sunny for grad school
greinlady: serious!
Sh0rTcHiCa: what do you wanna do after college?
greinlady: um i dont know
greinlady: live with you somewhere sunny
greinlady: like florida
greinlady: :-)
greinlady: have fun
greinlady: i dont think i want to do grad school though
Sh0rTcHiCa: we should go to the same city and live together:-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeah florida!!!
greinlady: most definetly
greinlady: im down
greinlady: here's the plan
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok
Sh0rTcHiCa: oh i was thinking of taking a year off ater college though
Sh0rTcHiCa: to work
Sh0rTcHiCa: cause i'm poor
greinlady: we can graduate and move to florida and start kinda from scratch and work and just try to build up our lives, perfectly fine we can work :-) and ill try to get a job in interenational business or business in florida, but that will take some time i'm sure, so just doing whatever until i get in
greinlady: and then u can go to grad school
greinlady: or we can take a year after school
greinlady: live at home, save money
greinlady: move to florida
greinlady: and u start grad school and i try and start the work force
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeah:-) it acually might be beter if we move first... i dunno
Sh0rTcHiCa: but that would be SOOOO awesome:-)
greinlady: we can see closer the time
greinlady: yeah it would
greinlady: because i dont want to live in new york or la or anything, but florida would be the right atmosphere for international business and i really want to settle back east
greinlady: i love ca, but i couldnt live here forever
greinlady: too expensive
Sh0rTcHiCa: yeppers:-)
greinlady: and warm weather would make us happy
Sh0rTcHiCa: i wonder how it is in florida...
Sh0rTcHiCa: and beaches!!
greinlady: yeh!
greinlady: and cute boys!
Sh0rTcHiCa: yay!!!!!
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok i'm sold
Sh0rTcHiCa: hehe
greinlady: i dont know, but it doesn't matter if we stay there forever, it would just be an experience for us
greinlady: develop our character :-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: exactly:-)
greinlady: how exciting
Sh0rTcHiCa: plus i wanna live somewhere other than fred'burg while i'm still young and beautiful!
greinlady: we're moving to florida!
Sh0rTcHiCa: lol
greinlady: good call
greinlady: but you will always be beautiful ;-)
greinlady: and young at heart
Sh0rTcHiCa: lol
Sh0rTcHiCa: i hope so!!!!
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha
greinlady: i know so
greinlady: but listen, ive got to walk this paper over
greinlady: ill be back in a bit
Sh0rTcHiCa: ok have fun:-)
greinlady: oh you know it
greinlady: and i have nothing to do later ifyou are still on
Sh0rTcHiCa: i'll be here with jane;-)
greinlady: ask her if she wants to come to florida with us :-)
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha yeah i'm on for another 3 hours of procrastination till bella
greinlady: bye sweetie
Sh0rTcHiCa: haha ok bye:-)
I wore green this morning by accident. A sign?
Anyway, Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm in a better mood today, sorry for those of you who read my rant last night. I can't stay pissed like that for too long, except when I'm continually reminded of the reason behind my anger (who calls people at 8:30 in the morning?!?).
But yeah, the weather kinda sucks today. I wish it were sunny to go along with the warm, but I'll live. I tried reading Jane Eyre last night, and passed out on the book. And right now I'm debating sleeping or reading more.
I think I'm going to wear something cute today. I need a pick-me-up. Too bad Amanda's not in town, we had a date for Maggie Moo's that kept getting post-poned. I could use some yummy ice cream right now! Plus I think she offered to pay cause she knows how broke-ass I am - haha.
Anyway have a good day:) And try to think sunny, maybe then the sun will emerge due to the power of our desires (yes, I was smoking up this morning - it's a green day right? haha Greenday. ok sorry).
Anyway, Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm in a better mood today, sorry for those of you who read my rant last night. I can't stay pissed like that for too long, except when I'm continually reminded of the reason behind my anger (who calls people at 8:30 in the morning?!?).
But yeah, the weather kinda sucks today. I wish it were sunny to go along with the warm, but I'll live. I tried reading Jane Eyre last night, and passed out on the book. And right now I'm debating sleeping or reading more.
I think I'm going to wear something cute today. I need a pick-me-up. Too bad Amanda's not in town, we had a date for Maggie Moo's that kept getting post-poned. I could use some yummy ice cream right now! Plus I think she offered to pay cause she knows how broke-ass I am - haha.
Anyway have a good day:) And try to think sunny, maybe then the sun will emerge due to the power of our desires (yes, I was smoking up this morning - it's a green day right? haha Greenday. ok sorry).
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Tonight was frustrating beyond belief. I'm so upset right now that I just feel like throwing everything i own out of the window and watching it crash into the cars in the parking lot below. And if you know me, then you know how much I love my shit, and that I must be pretty fucking upset if I'm willing to throw it all away (especially the new shoes i just bought, totally cute).
And yes, part of my frustration stems from my inabilty to properly communicate myself to others. Because I don't really understand myself, so how can I expect anyone else to? But then again, I'm not sitting around asking myself 30285402395 questions trying to understand my every action and motivation. I'm not a fucking idealist (no offense to my dear sister and other NF's who I really do love).
At any rate, I hate to fucking end on such a negative note. Because I had such an amazing break and today wasn't all that bad till about 2 hours ago (though I was ready to kill some of my kids and this one mom at work- who the fuck does she think she is trying to tell me she doesn't like my "teaching philosphy"? not my fault that her daughter is a fucking wimp.) hmm yeah...
But I did manage to brighten one awesome person's day I think:) which makes me feel happy.
So yeah - it's bed time for my annoyed self. Maybe when I wake up in 5.5 fucking hours I'll be in a better mood.
And yes, part of my frustration stems from my inabilty to properly communicate myself to others. Because I don't really understand myself, so how can I expect anyone else to? But then again, I'm not sitting around asking myself 30285402395 questions trying to understand my every action and motivation. I'm not a fucking idealist (no offense to my dear sister and other NF's who I really do love).
At any rate, I hate to fucking end on such a negative note. Because I had such an amazing break and today wasn't all that bad till about 2 hours ago (though I was ready to kill some of my kids and this one mom at work- who the fuck does she think she is trying to tell me she doesn't like my "teaching philosphy"? not my fault that her daughter is a fucking wimp.) hmm yeah...
But I did manage to brighten one awesome person's day I think:) which makes me feel happy.
So yeah - it's bed time for my annoyed self. Maybe when I wake up in 5.5 fucking hours I'll be in a better mood.
Looks like the big sis and I have a lot in common;)
Congratulations, you're a Pillywiggin, a trouping flower fae.
What kind of female faerie are you?
Take the female faerie quizby Paradox.
Congratulations, you're a Pillywiggin, a trouping flower fae.
What kind of female faerie are you?
Take the female faerie quizby Paradox.
One Week
I haven't written in a week. Cause damn, it's been good. My bleak forecast of a boring Spring Break turned out to be utterly false. Thanks in no small part to Jen's insistance that we hang, I had an amazing time.
I won't be updating this nearly as often anymore. I have a new journal. And it's private. I'm sick of speaking in metaphor and trying to cloud my real thoughts. What's the purpose of a "diary" if it has to be edited and censored?
A few weeks ago I went back and re-read my old diaries from high school, on paper of course. Those were interesting times. I actually only wrote constantly from the beginning of my freshman year to the end of my sophomore. When I was single, and rather psychotic.
When I visited Rach the other week she pointed out that I talk about boys overmuch, which must be because I was in a 3 year relationship and am at a predominantly female school. But that's not true (though it does factor in). I've always been like that. I was mad obsessive about like 15 guys at a time in high school. I recall coming home with a "boyfriend list" in first grade, and showing my sister. I'd asked certain boys to sign it if they wanted to be my boyfriend. And it definately had a good number of names. I probably would have had quite a few "boyfriends" in elementary and middle school, if it hadn't been for the fucking "ugly duckling" syndrome (I was cute in first grade, after that it was all over for me). And then when I finally got myself figured out in high school, I didn't know what to do with all of the new attention, it was overwhelming and made me jaded. I hadn't changed, just my appearance. Were people that shallow? They were, and still are. I am too in a lot of ways. I try not to be, I hate myself for it sometimes. But there it is.
So I hate to end this blog on a bitter note though. I really did have a great week. Meet a totally awesome new person, reconciled some misunderstandings with Rob, toured uva for my first time, and really got a feel for traveling. Not bad for just a week;)
I haven't written in a week. Cause damn, it's been good. My bleak forecast of a boring Spring Break turned out to be utterly false. Thanks in no small part to Jen's insistance that we hang, I had an amazing time.
I won't be updating this nearly as often anymore. I have a new journal. And it's private. I'm sick of speaking in metaphor and trying to cloud my real thoughts. What's the purpose of a "diary" if it has to be edited and censored?
A few weeks ago I went back and re-read my old diaries from high school, on paper of course. Those were interesting times. I actually only wrote constantly from the beginning of my freshman year to the end of my sophomore. When I was single, and rather psychotic.
When I visited Rach the other week she pointed out that I talk about boys overmuch, which must be because I was in a 3 year relationship and am at a predominantly female school. But that's not true (though it does factor in). I've always been like that. I was mad obsessive about like 15 guys at a time in high school. I recall coming home with a "boyfriend list" in first grade, and showing my sister. I'd asked certain boys to sign it if they wanted to be my boyfriend. And it definately had a good number of names. I probably would have had quite a few "boyfriends" in elementary and middle school, if it hadn't been for the fucking "ugly duckling" syndrome (I was cute in first grade, after that it was all over for me). And then when I finally got myself figured out in high school, I didn't know what to do with all of the new attention, it was overwhelming and made me jaded. I hadn't changed, just my appearance. Were people that shallow? They were, and still are. I am too in a lot of ways. I try not to be, I hate myself for it sometimes. But there it is.
So I hate to end this blog on a bitter note though. I really did have a great week. Meet a totally awesome new person, reconciled some misunderstandings with Rob, toured uva for my first time, and really got a feel for traveling. Not bad for just a week;)
Friday, March 07, 2003
Right, About That...
So apparently this stupid flower quiz thingy screwed up my html, grrrrr, but it's ok I fixed it.
Spring Break starts today. I'm definately excited. I only have one class, and in it a 90 second quiz. Literally. We get timed for 90 seconds, and then we hand it in (my music theory prof. is weird. way cool, but way wierd).
I'm sad that AJ doesn't blog anymore:( But I totally understand her reasons. And it makes me wonder if should stop too. But blogger isn't my real problem. Email and AIM are. I wish they would both die! But then I don't know what I would do with my life...
I feel kinda bad cause I was in a bitchy mood this morning. So for that I apologize.
Happy Spring Break:)
So apparently this stupid flower quiz thingy screwed up my html, grrrrr, but it's ok I fixed it.
Spring Break starts today. I'm definately excited. I only have one class, and in it a 90 second quiz. Literally. We get timed for 90 seconds, and then we hand it in (my music theory prof. is weird. way cool, but way wierd).
I'm sad that AJ doesn't blog anymore:( But I totally understand her reasons. And it makes me wonder if should stop too. But blogger isn't my real problem. Email and AIM are. I wish they would both die! But then I don't know what I would do with my life...
I feel kinda bad cause I was in a bitchy mood this morning. So for that I apologize.
Happy Spring Break:)
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
I'm a Daffodil. I'm respectable, upstanding and proper. I do everything with class, even when no one is looking. Respect is important to me, and I deserve it because I have never farted in my life. Nor do I masturbate. Also my pinky sticks out when I drink from a glass.
What bloom are you? by Polly_Snodgrass
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta
Anyone opposed to war with Iraq should go here and sign because it's a good cause.
So why is today a gangsta day? Well it's not really. Yesterday was. But I still have that song in my head. And to be honest, it's relaxing me, which is nice. Because it's so chill and laid back, while I'm all uptight and worried about getting all this shit done.
It's Ash Wednessday, and I was going to go to church today, but I'm thinking that it's not a Holy Day of Obligation. Hmmm.
Now it's time to roll out, sit in my chizzair, and start on my shiznic. Wish me luck;)
Anyone opposed to war with Iraq should go here and sign because it's a good cause.
So why is today a gangsta day? Well it's not really. Yesterday was. But I still have that song in my head. And to be honest, it's relaxing me, which is nice. Because it's so chill and laid back, while I'm all uptight and worried about getting all this shit done.
It's Ash Wednessday, and I was going to go to church today, but I'm thinking that it's not a Holy Day of Obligation. Hmmm.
Now it's time to roll out, sit in my chizzair, and start on my shiznic. Wish me luck;)
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
Four More Days
Yes, that's it. Four more till Spring break. I think I can I think I can I think I can I think I can....
Here's the countdown: one oral presentation, one midterm, one paper, one progress report on a paper.
I can do it, right?
Well maybe if I spend less time talking and more time doing...
On another note - we got an apartment last night for next year. It's in a good location. So I'm happy.
I dislike research. And I have a lot to do this week. I think I can...
At least one of my classes was cancelled for the rest of the week - so I actually only have five more classes total this entire week. I can handle that.
Yes, that's it. Four more till Spring break. I think I can I think I can I think I can I think I can....
Here's the countdown: one oral presentation, one midterm, one paper, one progress report on a paper.
I can do it, right?
Well maybe if I spend less time talking and more time doing...
On another note - we got an apartment last night for next year. It's in a good location. So I'm happy.
I dislike research. And I have a lot to do this week. I think I can...
At least one of my classes was cancelled for the rest of the week - so I actually only have five more classes total this entire week. I can handle that.
Monday, March 03, 2003
Front Foot Leads the Back One
So yeah - very sad that in the middle of my post my compu screwed up and it didn't work and now I have to retype it so grrr!
And a second coming is never as good as the original.
So in brief: my weekend rocked, I went to visit Rach and see her musical; more later.
This week is going to be hell but hey Spring Break is in one week and that's going to be heaven!
Tonight we recorded So Long by Guster at Bella - it sounded amazing (hence the above reference).
And I'm in a good mood, no thanks to the weather which seems determined to freeze me to death!
So long:)
So yeah - very sad that in the middle of my post my compu screwed up and it didn't work and now I have to retype it so grrr!
And a second coming is never as good as the original.
So in brief: my weekend rocked, I went to visit Rach and see her musical; more later.
This week is going to be hell but hey Spring Break is in one week and that's going to be heaven!
Tonight we recorded So Long by Guster at Bella - it sounded amazing (hence the above reference).
And I'm in a good mood, no thanks to the weather which seems determined to freeze me to death!
So long:)
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