I figured it's about time I write a happy blog (or at least attempt to) - so here goes: I'm extremely happy that my new roommate decided to go home this weekend - she still hasn't moved any of her stuff in but that's no biggie... Slightly annoying however cause I don't know when we're going to discuss the room arrangement. But I am actually kind of looking forward to moving the room around. The way it is right now there's some wasted space - and I've been thinking about it and I can see a whole bunch of new possibilities, one of which she will hopefully like. Tonight is meet the team for swimming - where the new swimmers go from house to house to house doing different drinking games - I'm not all about getting totally trashed, but I talked to the senior girls and they were cool with that. I have a guest coming over tonight and it would really suck if I were passed out or puking or incoherent - so yeah. But anyways, I finished all four of my big test this week, only think I failed one (and did I ever fail it), so I'm happy. Yeah that's all for now:)

I haven't blogged in a while cause I've been insanely busy - not like I'm not busy right not but I have ice on my shoulders and it's hard to do work when i can't realy feel most of my arm... At any rate, this weekend was one of the most insane weekends I've ever had. And I'm not even going to bother telling you what I had to do, because you know me and I'm sure you're really really sick by now of hearing how busy I make myself. Oh well. So to the question; why do you do this to yourself? Honestly, I don't really know. Some part of me feels like it's expected of me. Like I can, so I should, you know? And since I can do a lot of things (though how well I do any of them is questionable), then I just do. And I enjoy them all, but I don't know if I'd be happy without any of them. Like I was just talking to a fellow debater, and she just finished with her first tournament ever. And as she was telling me about how much fun she had, I realized how much I miss it (especially seeing my hot navy boys...). But fitting debate into my schedule right now is so beyond possible that's it's funny. And last night as I was trying not to wig about the coming week, I realized that absolutely nothing I'm doing right now is shooting me down the path I want to take in life. I think I really want to be an editor, or a journalist, or something along those lines, and I haven't done jack to realize that goal. I was thinking about how I really need to get involved with one of the publications here, and how impossible that would be unless I drop something. But what's going to go? Debate is practically gone, though I have been entertaining the idea of returning--that looks impossible. So what else? Honor Council? I can't even begin to think how good that will look on grad school and job applications. Plus I've been thinking that it would be nice to be president... Bella?? I've invested so much time and energy in that group, and the girls are my heart, and I really do want to be business manager one of these days. Swim team? I just got back into it, and i love it more than ever. I've made awesome friends, and I feel like I can accomplish a lot if I stick with it. Work? Now this is one I wouldn't mind getting out of - but I need to money and work needs me, so far there isn't anyone who could take over my Sunday job adequately, and no one wants to take over my morning job because it's too damn early. Washington Guides? I haven't really started with that yet, but it's something that I really want to do, logistics be damned. So where does all of this leave me? I didn't include social life in here, which yes, I do have, and no, I'm not willing to give up. Sigh. I need a good pair of dice I think - though I also know that I'd never be satisfied with the answer and keep tossing them into eternity......

So I haven't blogged in a while - mainly because I've been insanely busy (not like I'm Not busy right now, I'm just procrastinating). Last week was a really long week - but I had an awesome weekend so I can't complain too much. AJ is back from London, so we're hanging out tonight - but unfortunately she's leaving for school like Wednesday:( It makes me very sad - we had a really good time hanging out this summer - though we seem to have bad luck actually Going Out to have fun:) But it's all good - I'm definately going to miss her - and I can't wait till Winter Break!! Cause she'll be back, and we'll be havinga fun sleep over with all the chicas from back in the day, and plus I'll be done with my current bunch of classes. Well I really oughta do some work - ugh sometimes I wish I could be here, and go to classes, but not have any work outside of classes. I mean, a good teacher can teach what needs to be taught in class, right? (don't contradict me, I'm being rhetorical) So yeah - peace.

Ugh. This week is going to kill me. Don't be surprised if this is my last blog ever.... Ok I'll stop being morbid for one second. Seriously though - here's how my week began: Sunday night, tried to go to bed at 11:30, coudln't fall asleep till 12 (or later) because I woke up at noon. Monday morning - wokr up at 4:40AM, went to work, 7:40AM got back to school, grabbed breakfast. 8AM started on homework for the day's classes. 11AM went to first class. 12PM went to lunch with Lauren. 1PM went to Brit Lit. 2PM came back and answered emails and tried to get missed assignments from last Thursday and Friday. 2:30PM went to training room to do shoulder exercises (cause I'm gimpy). 3:15PM went to the pool for practice. 6PM went to dinner with the team. 7PM went to pick up assignment from Combs (a really long walk). 8PM went to Bella. 10:15PM got ice cream with Bella chicas (can you blame me? it was a shitty day...). 10:30PM answered phone messages and got math assignment. 10:45 PM wrote this bitchy blog - will be doing homework till12AM, will wake up at 4:40AM, will go to work, come back, go to 9:30AM meeting, 11AM class, be in class till 3:15, go to the pool, eat dinner, go to debate meeting at 7:30PM, and finally be back in room sometime around 9:30 to start on Wednesday's homework...

So please tell me that you would consider driving your car off a cliff too, that it's not only a chemical imbalance in my brain, and thank God there are no cliffs this far down the East Coast (why am I procrastinating again? Damnit!) See I would be all about the crashing into a tree thing (no driving on the wrong side of the road shit cause people can get hurt that way!) but I've had a similar expereince and believe me it wasn't any fun at all and it made a whole bunch of fire fighters laugh at me and plus I probably wouldn't die I'd jut end up in the hospital for a long time and yeah maybe then I wouldn't have to deal with anything but when I got out of the hospital life would suck even worse and I'd probably have to drop out of school for real and yeah that would blow and I think I'm going to stop know - I'm not crazy I promise I like my life just not this week ok? bye.

Hehe. That's how I feel today, and I need to share my joy with the world!!!!!!!!! Really, I'm not sure why I'm in such a good mood. I mean today was such a long long long day, with far too little time to relax. But I enjoyed my classes, I got to sit at the club carnival and talk to lots of people, which always makes me happy!!! I sat at the tables for the Honor Council, BellACappella, and debate (each for short amounts of time). And once, at the Bella table, we sang a few songs until we forgot the words and then we just laughed at ourselves. Hehe. It was also a pretty day; it was sunny and warm and there were birds and guys with no shirts on and.... hehehehe. Ok I need to stop. So am I bipolar, you ask? Um, I have yet to determine that but stay tuned....
Yeah so I apoligize for my unprecedented melancholy blog yesterday, I was just in a self-pitying mood brought on by the fact that it was sunday and that my normal sunday routine from last year is obsolete. But it's all good, cause I'm uncharictaristically happy for a monday!!! And due to my dreary mood of yesterday, I never got to tell about all the fun times that were had this weekend. First of all, Aj and I hung out every night and that was totally groovy. Second of all, I got slightly imbibed on saturday night and had a blast at a party, only to come back to campus and have one of those embarrassing scenes that make you want to not show your face the next day (which led in part to my shitty mood yesterday). But yeah, Im not going to describe that here cause I already told most people once or twice and if you REALLY wanna know then you know how to get ahold of me... Ok, so I think I need to stop now before I type any more "hehe's" . Peace!!!!!!!!!

Why is it that when the weather sucks so does my mood? These past few days I've been in really blah moods - punctuated by the occasional high point of going out at night or talking to friends - but other than that generally not-fun. Actually I have a feeling that I'm exaggerating here, and that my mood as of late has been cheery, but not today so oh well. I just hate this feeling of being cold (damn broken AC) and being alone in my room. I didn't ask for a single damnit!! I would have loved to be alone last year I suppose - but freshman year is so different in that no one knows anyone else and so everyone on the hall hangs out together, goes to meals together, and the like. I'm not inclined to be a solitary person, even though I do enjoy my alone time - I just like it to be on my terms. When I want to sit back and read a book or clean one evening, great. When I want to hang out with friends, go somewhere, or grab a bite to eat - it sucks now because it's hard to find people to do it with. Everyone that I know is good friends with their respective roommates; and so they do everything together. Minus one or two people, but in those cases the persons I know happen to be introverted so aren't all about company all the time. I've begun to really hate my hall too, because it's so close-doored. The doors don't stay open on their own, so I have no idea who lives on my floor, or even in my dorm. I leave my door open most of the time, propped, and people stop by and whatnot, but seeing as how I'm on the fourth floor I don't really get a ton of traffic. Whatever. And this not having a roommate thing sucks when I want to go to dinner. I have to im friends who live all the way accross campus and ask if they want to go eat, and they usually invite me along with them and their roommates, but I can't avoid feeling like an interloper. I suppose it's partly my own fault, I'm not the type to travel in packs, and even though I know a ton of people few of them are close enough friends for me to hang out with constantly, as I did with Lindsay last year. We always went to meals, drank hot tea together, drove around the 'burg looking for something interesting to do, and stuff like that. Finding another friend with the same qualities is impossible, and finding someone who's down with a similar close friendship is almost impossible among friends with ready-established friendships. Sigh, I realize that I'm compaining right now, but the weather sucks and plus I figured typing would help to warm up my hands slightly. I'd kind of wanted to do something tonight, but those plans appear to be shot due to the fact that I haven't heard from a certain someone all day. Whatever. I'm tired, and I'm really sick of doing homework. I think I'll go back to my hot tea and try to stay warm in this ice box that is also my room.