This weekend has sucked sooo badly - and unfortunately it's not even over yet. I got stood up not once, but Twice this weekend by my loving boyfriend. Two days in a row I got all ready to see him and go out - and both times I ended up going nowhere and doing nothing. Last night we were supposed to go walk around downtown and window shop at antique stores in the afternoon, eat in some downtown restaurant, then rent a movie and chill. It didn't happen. I'm just not in a good mood at the moment , and I don't think typing about it helping. Grrr is all i can say at the moment.

Which Kiss Are You?

So this is me - hmmmm. At any rate - things have been slightly more interesting this week - although I feel like I'm turning into a housewife. Ugh. Today I mowed the back lawn and the sides (i did the front last week), I vacuumed almost every common room in the house, washed windows and the tv, did all of my laundry, and made the living room look presentable by removing the layers of accumulated junk from the paino, the tv, the side tables, etc - all after coaching this morning at 6:30. I plan on having a 9-5 job, no doubt, and a maid so I never have to worry about crap like that. But anyways, Rob and I have been going in interesting directions lately, but that's about 100 pages of writing that I don't feel like doing so if you really care then ask me :) His grandmother is dying though - she has a serious form of cancer and she's refusing treatment - she's rather just die. Rob told me he understands how she feels, but I really don't. I don't understand the mentality that would ever allow anyone to give up on anything, especially life which is the most important thing we have (can you tell I'm Catholic?). And i found out from my dad that my Aunt - one of his four sisters, isn't going to last much longer either. She has brittle bone disease, with these lymph nodes draining all of the calcium out of her body and they can't operate to remove them. I can't remember if she lives in LA or Vegas, I think it's LA but it's been a long time since I've seen her. So I may be taking a trip west soon - for a funeral. Not a good time. I feel like everywhere I turn these days there's death - but a big part of me doesn't see death as really a bad thing. It's an inevitable necesity, on the big wheel that turns us all we're born, we live, we die. When we're born some must die to make room for us - and when we die we make room for the future. Maybe I'm a little morbid for seeing it that way, but I dont' think so. At least - it seems to me as one of the less depressing ways to look at death - and staying away from depression is a good thing. I also think I'm feeling so philosophical because I've been reading A LOT lately (i have nothing else to do) and most of the books I read have these deep messages about life and whatnot - and of course that rubs off on me like chalk on cloth (?). Um - I'm going to stop before anyone tries to commit me.

And so the page turns, another uneventful day passes by, and I'm still incredibly bored. I mean, a few things have happened. Rob and I almost broke up (again). Actually, he almost dumped me (again) and followed with a speech saying how he'd never ever ever leave me and he couldn't live without me an etc etc - ironic no? At any rate - I can't believe it's this late in May already!. I feel like I haven't done anything the whole month - and I know that my last day of school was in April, I seriously can't figure out where the time went! The pool opens next weekend, and after that I'll have sold my soul to the county - unfortunately this year I don't have the protection of being a year-round employee - which mean they can work me as much as they want w/out having to pay overitme. Time and half at 10.92 last summer was so damn good too. Oh well. Oh - in that week I got stood up twice too by my former best chica - big surprise there though. I guess it actually kinda makes me feel better, because it just reaffirms why we don't hang out anymore. She used to do it to me all the time, and at least now I can say I honestly don't care. Although I kinda did want to go to the club last night, but I wasn't about to drive my own ass up there and I've been feeling sick so it's probably better that we didn't go. Sigh. I find it funny how some people never change, even though you try your damndest, and you think you're getting somewhere, or that they've grown up at least a little, but no. Things stay the same. They let you down, and then you just have this feeling that things will always be the same. No matter how much they talk about changing, about making things better, it stays the same. Oh well. I apologize for the depressing turn, but I'm tired, and sick of dealing with people. I wish I was a hermit. Or and introvert, who was perfectly capable of living an incredibly happy life without friends. Unfortunately, I like people and they seem to like me some of the time so I have these strange appendages called friends. I decided today that I really like the relationship between Lesley and I, a girl I went to high school with. When I see her, we chat, we laugh, we have fun. Then we leave, and it's over. I don't feel obliged to call her or hang out with her, and vice versa. Maybe once in a blue moon one of wil have a get together and then of course the other would be invited as long as it was among mutual friends, but otherways we're just acquaintances. I think that's why I have so many acquaintances and so few friends. I really despise the baggage that comes with close friendships, so I try to form them as little as possible. Don't think for a moment that I despise my friends - not at all, I love them as much as any friend could - I just like to keep the numbers down, that's all. Damn I sound like a cold bitch. I really outta stop writing, I'm not sure if I know what I'm writing at all and I'll probably come back and delete half of this later. Ah me...

Welcome once more to the uneventful blah that is my life - during the summer at least. So my parents went to court yesterday against the Rays, and we lost. We were suing them for my dad's severance pay, which they paid to Jon a year earlier but refused to give my dad. Then they couter-sued, saying that my dad was in breach of contract. The trial took four hours and the judge threw out both claims. Go fig. So we didn't get any money, my family is still incredibly broke, and everything's just hunky-dory, or something like that. I start working memorial day weekend, should be fun fun fun. But I'll only be working on Saturdays, which kinda sucks - but I still have Tsunami lessons on Sundays and I can't miss those. Last sunday really sucked, I had 5 classes and 3 teachers. And most of the kids showed up. It was nuts. And my dad couldn't help out because two of his assistants (jon and charles) didn't show up either. I'm just glad I made it through without strangling anyone. So, I'll keep my fingers crossed that something exciting happens (oh - there was a really pretty full rainbow yesterday! I took like a million pictures and I'll get them on here soon), although I supremely doubt it.

So today is kinda crappy. It's not very pretty outside, and they say it's supposed to storm so bring it on already! I hate it when it's cloudy and there's no storm, it's just blah. At any rate, I started training again this week (if you can call me struggling to pull my aging body through the pool with the finesse of a baboon training). I really missed swimming this year, and right now I really wish I could have made it to the pool a little more than I did last semester. Oh well. I finally bought a scanner, so to all of my people who I promised to send pictures to, I'll get on that today or tomorrow. I also updated my web site, the link's on the left. I really don't feel like blabbering forever today (lucky you) so I'll take my leave and work on my web page because believe me it needs it. Adios.

I have decided that summer is possibly the most boring season in existence. Ok, well maybe not - but still - ugh. I have nothing to do. Correction - I have tons to do but it's all really really boring and I sooo don't wanna! I'm sorry, I'm whinig. But understand me - I'm sitting here at home, staring at my room that is so covered in clothes that I forgot that I had a lower bunk and I couldn't possibly tell you what color my floor is plus my closet and chest of drawers are completely full to brimming and I couldn't possibly get rid of any more clothes - and those are only the clean clothes. The dirty ones are amassing more every day and I don't know how to stop it!! (yeah I could do laundry but that would be too easy). I still have 3 unpacked suitcases and two unpacked bins, plus several unpacked bags littering the office outside of my room. I moved out of school almost a week ago. And no, I'm not that lazy, it's just that I really don't want to have to deal with unpacking right now (ok, maybe I am that lazy). There have been a few interesting things this weekend (by the way Happy-Saturday-Was-Your-Birthday-Lindsay!), such as yours truly getting lost in Manassas for a few hours Saturday when she was supposed to be picking her brother up from a swim meet at the GMU Manassas campus (which takes FOR-EVER to get to!!) ugh. Plus I found out a few things about this lawsuit my family is involved in with the Rays, turns out they're doing it like completely behind the team members' backs and whatnot, while probably using team funds but hey that's just a guess. Well anyways, for lack of better things to do I'm going to sleep, not wake up till after noon tomorrow, watch tv till bedtime, then do it again tuesday. Yay (sarcasm).

As my dear sister put it, here we go again...





what's your battle cry? |
mewing.net | merchandise!

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

I find it very interesting that Rach and I are pretty similar in many ways, and that I got This as my test result when she got goodie-goodie.

wow. Last night was soooooo much fun. It's one of those memories that I will probably cherish forever. It started with me moving out and coming home. My room is soo empty and bare, it's depressing. Well I left my carpet and vacuum cleaner there, as well as a few cleaning supplies just in case I felt like taking care of some stuff when I went back. And then Lindsay and I were gonna hang out at night, around ten, when I was going to come back and get my carpet. Well I actually didn't get there till around 11, and by that time I was really tired from moving all day and I didn't feel like vacuuming and dealing with my roommate's shedding problem so I just said screw it I'll get it tomorrow. So then Lindsay asked if we could drive around Fred just one last time for her so she could see everything again before she went home for the summer. First we drove around old town, then on the way to central park we stopped at the Donut Connection (formerly known as Dunkin Donuts, 24 hours baby!) and got donuts and coffee (well Linds got hot chocolate) because I was on my last legs. We drove to uptown Central Park to check out the ugly gaudy tacky lights and reminisce about the time we kidnapped Matteo with Phil and took him in front of the ice park and had a great heart to heart with the boys. Then we were driving along route 3, and at this time it was around 12:30, and I said, "hey let's go to Wal-Mart!" because there is absolutely little else to do after 9pm in the 'Burg. Lindsay thought that was a great idea, so we went and at first we checked out the clothes and LIndsay tried on two pairs of pants but they weren't working for her. So then I had another ingenious idea, and we went to check out the shoe section. Bad idea considering how both of us have major shoe fetishes (we brought 7 pairs of shoes each to visit my sister for a weekend). All I had in mind was a few pairs of cheap flip flops, in different colors so I could match every outfit this summer. We spent about 40 mins in just the flip flop section, I bought 5 pairs and Lindsay bought 3. But they were really really cute and some were really comfy and I only had 2 pairs at home so it wasn't that bad. But then as we were leaving the shoe section I saw the platforms and I really need another pair so we just had to go there too. And we both ended up getting another two pairs there, of course they were the exact same shoes in different sizes!! All together we got 4 pairs of the same shoes, we are so sad it's embarrassing. We laughed about how sad we were all the way back to school, and when we got back to the dorm we ran into our darling friend Tim who shares the same perogative for clothing that we do, although he was a little blown away by the magnitude of shoes that we accumulated. All in all it was a great night though, and I'm so glad that we took the time to go out. It was the best ever (well one of the best). Thank you Lindsay for such a fun time, and thank you everyone who I met this year for making my freshman year so memorable. I already miss you guys, and I just left yesterday:) Here's to next semester - which I am already excited about because I'll have the coolest roomie ever and my friends will be my hall mates and I'll be taking fun classes and can you tell I'm excited? Love you all!