So yesterday I thought I was in car hell, but of course that was before I got the bill. Now I know that I'm in something way worse than car Hell.. I don't even think they have a name for it yet. Don't worry I'll think of one. So not only did my car fail the emissions test ($30), but it had to have a diagnostic ($82) and then I needed a new catalytic converter ($160) plus labor ($120) - which in the end comes out to over $400 dollars!!!! ($424 total including tax) and that doesn't include the registraion or inspection fees!!! Bye Bye 2 weeks of work! GRRRRR is all I have to say about that!
But on a happier note, tonight AJ and I hung out cause she came back form Boston yesterday, and we had a pretty chill time:)

Pebbles in the Road Less Taken
Just a little link to my sister's blog - she actually wrote in it today! And some of it was about me?? What's the deal on that!?!? (if you want to know what I'm talking about you'll just have to go read it for yourself). At any rate, I'm in car HELL. I have to get re-registered and inspected by the end of this month (ha), and in order to do that I have to get the many problems with my car fixed, which is near impossible considering my schedule this summer!!!! I haven't driven my own car to work in like 2 weeks, and tomorrow I have to get a friend to take me because my car is- once again -in the shop. I've already spent close to $150 on a new muffler, emissions test, and inspection. Now I have to spend another $280 tomorrow on getting some thing that I have to have in order to pass the emissions test (wait I also forgot I got a new tire too). I have no idea how I'm going to pay for all of this crap, and still have enough money left over to take care of paying for school, because my rents definately DO NOT have enough money for that. AHHHHHHH!

I'm feeling pretty chipper today. Even though it was a blasé kinda day, with boring rain and a grey sky, I feel happy. Plus most of the people in my life are having good times right now. Rachel went out on 2 dates - with different guys! (even though she doens't consider the 1st one a date, he did so it counts) And the guys she went out with are very good looking too:) I told her to throw the one she doesnt want my way. He's definately a hottie. At any rate, I'm going to call it a night - peace!

Well yesterday I swam in the first day of Summer Awards. Talk about a humbling experience. The oldest people there, second to me, were some 17 year olds. Yay. So there I was, with my made-up times, swimming in like the first heat (the slowest) of every event, and getting my ass kicked by 15 year olds. And let's not forget about the current Rays swimmers, my dad's old unloyal ones, who were kicking my ass and reveling in it. Sigh. At least I was improving on my "coach's times" though. But still, my 200 free was 10 second off my best time. Ouch. My 200 IM was the same. Oh well. I'm leaving in a few mins for day 2, another humbling experience. But I know that I'm doing the right thing, because I haven't once stopped to ask myself why. And that means that I really have missed this as much as I thought, and that I don't regret getting back into training. Even if Coach Kinney doesn't want me to swim for him this year - there's always next year.

I want to go back to school. Lots. I'm moving back in on August 12, nice and soon. Then I don't have to worry about working a gagillion hours a day anymore. It will be so nice to relax. Not like debate week is all that relaxing, but at least more so than my current schedule. Sigh. I'm going to a swimmeet this weekend. Going to embarass myself infront of all the little kids. Howwonderful it will be. I'm too tired to think of anything witty to write today, not like I normally write witty things, but I like to try. I can't even make an attempt at the moment. Oh well.

Don't you hate it when you talk up something as if it's going to be the greatest thing on Earth, but then it turns out to be not that great? Yeah - well that;s what happened to me tonight. Oh well. AJ, Trisha, Lesley, and my fam and I went to see the fireworks at Dahlgren tonight. I recall the fireworks last year being spectacular, and way better than what they managed at Central Park from the previous year, however this year there were several "pauses" when they didn't shoot anything off, and the grand finale wasn't like I expected it to be. Oh well. I still had a blast, I just felt like an ass. It really was great to get together and hang out though, we discussed the differences between our respective colleges, about our roommates, and about old memories. I hope we can get together again, because i really had fun. We've grown up and changed, but we still have the same - this sounds lame i know- "core" personalities that we;ve always had. They've just matured and developed in differen directions. I hope we can all do it again, but with more people that would appreciate the kind of girlie, "remember when" nostalgia that we love so much. Till then I suppose....

I'm feeling overworked, and I had two days off this week! Oh well. Today was the last day of the first session - and I think that it went pretty well. I only had 4 classes though, when last year I usually had 6 or 7. It means less money but more sanity. Next week however, will mean less sanity and more money. I suppose it's a fair enough trade-off:) I'm really excited about tomorrow night - we're having this big swimteam reuinion thingy, with a bunch of old friends. I hope that everyone can come, I left a lot of messages on answering machines tonight and I'm slightly worried that things won't go well. So far I've only got about 6 definate yesses, and while that would be a fun bunch to hang with I was hoping for it to be big! Oh well, I worry far too much. Till tomorrow then!

I realize I haven't blogged in a while, and tonight was pretty interesting so I figured I could write about it. AJ and I went to dinner after work, and we had a really nice time just blabbering about old times and new. I filled her in on some Curtis pool gossip, and we reminisced about way back in the day before she moved away. I'm really glad she's working with me this summer, because it's a little weird without Rachel. I always had her to hang out with over the summer, and now that she's not here I often find myself at a loss for close female companionship. My girls from school are all at their respective homes (I miss you guys!) and my closest friend at the pool from last year is barely working there this summer - which blows tons. But back to tonight, so we were eating at Olive Garden, and Michelle called me. That was a little wierd, because the three of us used to be like the 3 musketeers or whatever, but chele's into too much drugs and crazy shit for me these days. Infact when she called she was driving drunk and high. And i wasn't about to ask her to come to Olive Garden like that, so I told her I was eating with Robbie. If she knew AJ and I were there she might've tried to join us. Oh well. Afterwards, we went to borders and browsed makeup books and other worthless pieces that someone had the audacity to call literature (i'm kidding). Then Billy called AJ, and wanted to hang out. So just as I was about to leave, he pulled up and we ended up talking for a little while longer. It was slightly awkward because I haven't seen or talked to him in so long, and he calls AJ like everyday (long distance too). But who knows, looks like we could all maybe hang out this summer more than once - I think it's interesting that I don't start hanging out with old friends until after I come back from college - definately not what I thought would happen. And it looks like we'll be having a kind of reunion next weekend, with all of my old Rays friends. So if you're one, you're invited just give me a call for details. At any rate, I have to work at 6 am tomorrow, so i'm going to bed:)

Well I haven't posted in a while - so life is going on, today became yesterday a little over an hour ago and next week will be here before I can blink. I always think how time is funny that way. Sometimes I'll pause while I'm doing something, and wonder what I'll be doing the next week. And as I think that, and think about all of the time that passes between now and then, I know that when "then" is here, it will feel like hardly any time has passed, as the day I sat wondering blends into the other days into that nebulous blob called "history" that gets less and less clear with each day it absorbs. I honestly can't imagine being over forty, simply because I don't want to know what it's like having 40 years of memories, when just 19 and 1/2 are hard for me to deal with. And right now, as I puzzle over the future, time doesn't stop for me. It keeps going, and the more time I spend blabbering about philisophical crap like this the quicker the next moment comes and the more time I lose by Thinking rather than Doing (not like I'd be doing anything other than sleeping at this hour, but you catch the drift). And I know that when I write next, this day will be another blur, another blip in the melodrama that is my life, another moment when I sat and wondered rather than got off my ass and did.... Sorry to be so out there, but I saw Fight Club for the first time tonight, and honestly a lot of what the movie had to say I can - not really relate to - but understand. And it made me wonder how many seconds of my life I wasted in moments like this, or if it was really a waste because sometimes thinking is that smartest thing to do.

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Once again I surprise myself.

My car broke down on friday - again. It was pretty horrible this time. I was heading south on Rte. 1, and I hit a huge bump right where it goes over Rte. 3. The car just died, the engine shut off, the lights shut off, and i couldn't restart it, and unfortunately I was in the left lane. There were a ton of cars on the road, and I was heading up hill so I completely lost momentum, so I couldn't get over. I couldn't even put on my flashers or my blinker cause my lights wouldn't work. So there I am, flipping out and trying to call someone, stuck on the bridge in the left land worried about cars flying at me from behind and hitting me. I couldn't reach anybody either, no one answered at home or at Rob's house (where I was heading), it was getting dark (it was after 8:30) and I was stuck all by myself. So I got out to grab my flares, and some guy stopped to help me. It was hard to get the flares out at first cause cars were like 6 deep right on my bumper, trying to get over. I was totally freaked out. Finally a cop stopped by, and stopped traffic long enough for us to push the car over the the side. So we tried to figure out what had happened to my car, i finally got a hold of my dad, called AAA, and then the guy waited with me for my dad to show up, because he didn't want me to be there alone. And believe me when I say that I wasn't arguiing, I'm not stupid. So anyways my dad showed up a little after nine, and we checked out my car, turned out that my battery was so corroded (oops) one of the cables snapped off. So my dad played around with it for a while, found away to get the cord to stay attatched to the battery, and we got my car started. I cancelled the tow truck, and we drove home, with him following me just in case it slipped out again, which is exactly what happened when I went over some train tracks (as slowly as i could manage). The I had to pull over so that we could fix it again, and I finally made it home sometime later. Ugh. It reminded me a lot of the last time I broke down on Rte. 1, ironically I was heading south, but I was a few miles to the north, right at the 17 light. My car started to over heat, and smoke was pouring out of my hood. That time I was in the right lane, but there was no where to go (no shoulder) so I had to get into the left lane and then off into a parking lot. And I called my dad, told him what happened, and he came to check it out. Once again he told me try and drive it home after he put some water in to replace the antifreeze that leaked out. And of course that time I didn't make it home, and had to pull over again because once again there was smoke pouring out of my hood. And that time of course no one was following me home, and my car wasn't drivable so we ended up having to call AAA anyways. That was last summer, and instead of coming from work I was going to it. Go figure. Anyways, I'm actually working during the week now, in the evenings at any rate, and today I have to mail completion certificates to all of my Tsunami kids. Ugh. Wish me luck.

This weekend has sucked sooo badly - and unfortunately it's not even over yet. I got stood up not once, but Twice this weekend by my loving boyfriend. Two days in a row I got all ready to see him and go out - and both times I ended up going nowhere and doing nothing. Last night we were supposed to go walk around downtown and window shop at antique stores in the afternoon, eat in some downtown restaurant, then rent a movie and chill. It didn't happen. I'm just not in a good mood at the moment , and I don't think typing about it helping. Grrr is all i can say at the moment.

Which Kiss Are You?

So this is me - hmmmm. At any rate - things have been slightly more interesting this week - although I feel like I'm turning into a housewife. Ugh. Today I mowed the back lawn and the sides (i did the front last week), I vacuumed almost every common room in the house, washed windows and the tv, did all of my laundry, and made the living room look presentable by removing the layers of accumulated junk from the paino, the tv, the side tables, etc - all after coaching this morning at 6:30. I plan on having a 9-5 job, no doubt, and a maid so I never have to worry about crap like that. But anyways, Rob and I have been going in interesting directions lately, but that's about 100 pages of writing that I don't feel like doing so if you really care then ask me :) His grandmother is dying though - she has a serious form of cancer and she's refusing treatment - she's rather just die. Rob told me he understands how she feels, but I really don't. I don't understand the mentality that would ever allow anyone to give up on anything, especially life which is the most important thing we have (can you tell I'm Catholic?). And i found out from my dad that my Aunt - one of his four sisters, isn't going to last much longer either. She has brittle bone disease, with these lymph nodes draining all of the calcium out of her body and they can't operate to remove them. I can't remember if she lives in LA or Vegas, I think it's LA but it's been a long time since I've seen her. So I may be taking a trip west soon - for a funeral. Not a good time. I feel like everywhere I turn these days there's death - but a big part of me doesn't see death as really a bad thing. It's an inevitable necesity, on the big wheel that turns us all we're born, we live, we die. When we're born some must die to make room for us - and when we die we make room for the future. Maybe I'm a little morbid for seeing it that way, but I dont' think so. At least - it seems to me as one of the less depressing ways to look at death - and staying away from depression is a good thing. I also think I'm feeling so philosophical because I've been reading A LOT lately (i have nothing else to do) and most of the books I read have these deep messages about life and whatnot - and of course that rubs off on me like chalk on cloth (?). Um - I'm going to stop before anyone tries to commit me.

And so the page turns, another uneventful day passes by, and I'm still incredibly bored. I mean, a few things have happened. Rob and I almost broke up (again). Actually, he almost dumped me (again) and followed with a speech saying how he'd never ever ever leave me and he couldn't live without me an etc etc - ironic no? At any rate - I can't believe it's this late in May already!. I feel like I haven't done anything the whole month - and I know that my last day of school was in April, I seriously can't figure out where the time went! The pool opens next weekend, and after that I'll have sold my soul to the county - unfortunately this year I don't have the protection of being a year-round employee - which mean they can work me as much as they want w/out having to pay overitme. Time and half at 10.92 last summer was so damn good too. Oh well. Oh - in that week I got stood up twice too by my former best chica - big surprise there though. I guess it actually kinda makes me feel better, because it just reaffirms why we don't hang out anymore. She used to do it to me all the time, and at least now I can say I honestly don't care. Although I kinda did want to go to the club last night, but I wasn't about to drive my own ass up there and I've been feeling sick so it's probably better that we didn't go. Sigh. I find it funny how some people never change, even though you try your damndest, and you think you're getting somewhere, or that they've grown up at least a little, but no. Things stay the same. They let you down, and then you just have this feeling that things will always be the same. No matter how much they talk about changing, about making things better, it stays the same. Oh well. I apologize for the depressing turn, but I'm tired, and sick of dealing with people. I wish I was a hermit. Or and introvert, who was perfectly capable of living an incredibly happy life without friends. Unfortunately, I like people and they seem to like me some of the time so I have these strange appendages called friends. I decided today that I really like the relationship between Lesley and I, a girl I went to high school with. When I see her, we chat, we laugh, we have fun. Then we leave, and it's over. I don't feel obliged to call her or hang out with her, and vice versa. Maybe once in a blue moon one of wil have a get together and then of course the other would be invited as long as it was among mutual friends, but otherways we're just acquaintances. I think that's why I have so many acquaintances and so few friends. I really despise the baggage that comes with close friendships, so I try to form them as little as possible. Don't think for a moment that I despise my friends - not at all, I love them as much as any friend could - I just like to keep the numbers down, that's all. Damn I sound like a cold bitch. I really outta stop writing, I'm not sure if I know what I'm writing at all and I'll probably come back and delete half of this later. Ah me...

Welcome once more to the uneventful blah that is my life - during the summer at least. So my parents went to court yesterday against the Rays, and we lost. We were suing them for my dad's severance pay, which they paid to Jon a year earlier but refused to give my dad. Then they couter-sued, saying that my dad was in breach of contract. The trial took four hours and the judge threw out both claims. Go fig. So we didn't get any money, my family is still incredibly broke, and everything's just hunky-dory, or something like that. I start working memorial day weekend, should be fun fun fun. But I'll only be working on Saturdays, which kinda sucks - but I still have Tsunami lessons on Sundays and I can't miss those. Last sunday really sucked, I had 5 classes and 3 teachers. And most of the kids showed up. It was nuts. And my dad couldn't help out because two of his assistants (jon and charles) didn't show up either. I'm just glad I made it through without strangling anyone. So, I'll keep my fingers crossed that something exciting happens (oh - there was a really pretty full rainbow yesterday! I took like a million pictures and I'll get them on here soon), although I supremely doubt it.

So today is kinda crappy. It's not very pretty outside, and they say it's supposed to storm so bring it on already! I hate it when it's cloudy and there's no storm, it's just blah. At any rate, I started training again this week (if you can call me struggling to pull my aging body through the pool with the finesse of a baboon training). I really missed swimming this year, and right now I really wish I could have made it to the pool a little more than I did last semester. Oh well. I finally bought a scanner, so to all of my people who I promised to send pictures to, I'll get on that today or tomorrow. I also updated my web site, the link's on the left. I really don't feel like blabbering forever today (lucky you) so I'll take my leave and work on my web page because believe me it needs it. Adios.

I have decided that summer is possibly the most boring season in existence. Ok, well maybe not - but still - ugh. I have nothing to do. Correction - I have tons to do but it's all really really boring and I sooo don't wanna! I'm sorry, I'm whinig. But understand me - I'm sitting here at home, staring at my room that is so covered in clothes that I forgot that I had a lower bunk and I couldn't possibly tell you what color my floor is plus my closet and chest of drawers are completely full to brimming and I couldn't possibly get rid of any more clothes - and those are only the clean clothes. The dirty ones are amassing more every day and I don't know how to stop it!! (yeah I could do laundry but that would be too easy). I still have 3 unpacked suitcases and two unpacked bins, plus several unpacked bags littering the office outside of my room. I moved out of school almost a week ago. And no, I'm not that lazy, it's just that I really don't want to have to deal with unpacking right now (ok, maybe I am that lazy). There have been a few interesting things this weekend (by the way Happy-Saturday-Was-Your-Birthday-Lindsay!), such as yours truly getting lost in Manassas for a few hours Saturday when she was supposed to be picking her brother up from a swim meet at the GMU Manassas campus (which takes FOR-EVER to get to!!) ugh. Plus I found out a few things about this lawsuit my family is involved in with the Rays, turns out they're doing it like completely behind the team members' backs and whatnot, while probably using team funds but hey that's just a guess. Well anyways, for lack of better things to do I'm going to sleep, not wake up till after noon tomorrow, watch tv till bedtime, then do it again tuesday. Yay (sarcasm).

As my dear sister put it, here we go again...





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I find it very interesting that Rach and I are pretty similar in many ways, and that I got This as my test result when she got goodie-goodie.

wow. Last night was soooooo much fun. It's one of those memories that I will probably cherish forever. It started with me moving out and coming home. My room is soo empty and bare, it's depressing. Well I left my carpet and vacuum cleaner there, as well as a few cleaning supplies just in case I felt like taking care of some stuff when I went back. And then Lindsay and I were gonna hang out at night, around ten, when I was going to come back and get my carpet. Well I actually didn't get there till around 11, and by that time I was really tired from moving all day and I didn't feel like vacuuming and dealing with my roommate's shedding problem so I just said screw it I'll get it tomorrow. So then Lindsay asked if we could drive around Fred just one last time for her so she could see everything again before she went home for the summer. First we drove around old town, then on the way to central park we stopped at the Donut Connection (formerly known as Dunkin Donuts, 24 hours baby!) and got donuts and coffee (well Linds got hot chocolate) because I was on my last legs. We drove to uptown Central Park to check out the ugly gaudy tacky lights and reminisce about the time we kidnapped Matteo with Phil and took him in front of the ice park and had a great heart to heart with the boys. Then we were driving along route 3, and at this time it was around 12:30, and I said, "hey let's go to Wal-Mart!" because there is absolutely little else to do after 9pm in the 'Burg. Lindsay thought that was a great idea, so we went and at first we checked out the clothes and LIndsay tried on two pairs of pants but they weren't working for her. So then I had another ingenious idea, and we went to check out the shoe section. Bad idea considering how both of us have major shoe fetishes (we brought 7 pairs of shoes each to visit my sister for a weekend). All I had in mind was a few pairs of cheap flip flops, in different colors so I could match every outfit this summer. We spent about 40 mins in just the flip flop section, I bought 5 pairs and Lindsay bought 3. But they were really really cute and some were really comfy and I only had 2 pairs at home so it wasn't that bad. But then as we were leaving the shoe section I saw the platforms and I really need another pair so we just had to go there too. And we both ended up getting another two pairs there, of course they were the exact same shoes in different sizes!! All together we got 4 pairs of the same shoes, we are so sad it's embarrassing. We laughed about how sad we were all the way back to school, and when we got back to the dorm we ran into our darling friend Tim who shares the same perogative for clothing that we do, although he was a little blown away by the magnitude of shoes that we accumulated. All in all it was a great night though, and I'm so glad that we took the time to go out. It was the best ever (well one of the best). Thank you Lindsay for such a fun time, and thank you everyone who I met this year for making my freshman year so memorable. I already miss you guys, and I just left yesterday:) Here's to next semester - which I am already excited about because I'll have the coolest roomie ever and my friends will be my hall mates and I'll be taking fun classes and can you tell I'm excited? Love you all!