I'm reclaiming this blog after about 5 years of neglect.... a lot has happened in that time! Meandering pointless posts to follow... later rather than sooner!

I've kind of abandoned this site in favor of my lj. I might periodically post boring pointless shit, but that's probably all it's going to be. If anyone does wander by here, however; check out the bella site and my poetry site (links to the left) because i update both of those more often. The poetry site goes through periods of neglect, but being inspired while school's in session has never been one of my strong points. But I am taking a creative writing class this semester, so we'll see how that all goes down. I may have some new work for posting soon.

Long time no... type? Or something like that. I've actually posted on my poetry blog again, which you should look at!

And of course, jr. year is in full swing. Already I feel like I'm dying, or would rather be...

But hey let's be positive right?

Well maybe tomorrow.

Oooh look a post!

Yeah, I'm finally posting again. Damn it's been awhile.

I went out tonight with friends for the first time in a long long while (I don't think doing the dating/boyfriend thing counts).

Hit up two parties, one at Synder's new place.. which was fun till the cops kicked everyone out. Then one at Charlotte, the house Brent lived in last year (the basement reeks now though!) and now Emil loves there (he is soooo cool) and it was a bday party for Steve Dudley, who swore up and down for quite some time that I bit him on his chest when we were dancing at a party last semester, and that I was piss drunk.

I don't remember that at all, and I'm not one to black out. I think he mistook me for someone else (we've only met a handful of times).

But of course all of my friends found this hilarious.... sigh. Now people are going to think I'm some kind of freak (which isn't FAR from being correct...)

i should do this more often. i think i will, next weekend. big party then. looking forward to it:)

Threat rating: High. The Bush administration is
concerned that it may not get a second term.
Therefore, we are going to change the rules so
that each Democrat vote only counts as 0.2
votes because Democrat is a shorter word than
Republican


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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*** accidently posted this on my poetry blog. oops. it's from june 19th ***


It's been an interesting summer as of yet... and summer doesn't actually begin till this weekend. A wet summer too. Rain sucks my ass. Big time.

Anyway, I can't believe how busy I've been. And there's actually people contacting ME to hang out. Of course, they all call in the same weekend - but hey beggars can't be choosers right?

I need to get back in swimming shape. I've been doing sit-ups (lots) and push-ups (ow) but no weights and not enough swimming. I just hate it how when I swim my fucking shoulders KILL. It blows.

And I can't access my poetry forum at the moment, not sure why...

I think I'm going through poetic withdrawl. haha.

Wowsers!! It's snowing like whoa outside! soooo pretty!! I have two tests tomorrow (later today actually, it's late!), and i'm wondering if I'm actually going to have classes! Watch me not study in he hope that classes are cancelled and then go flunk my tests.. haha ok that's not that funny... um yeah I think I'm just going to study for maybe 20 minstes, then go to bed and wake up early and study more then, also that way if there's tons of snow maybe when I wake up I'll find out that we have no classes. Maybe!!

Don't get me wrong, I had a great break, but now that I'm back at school, I'm super-anxious about almost a billion things. First, this is definately the last week of classes. I don't know where in my foggy brain I lost that fact, but until today that hadn't really sunk in. For some reason I was thinking that I had three weeks of school left after Thanksgiving. Definately not. Definately have my first exam in 1 week and about 11 hours - and unfortunately that exam is a term paper of 8-10 pages that I have not even started researching yet. And between now and then there's sooooo much shit going on: Bella's concert on Thursday night, which means this week brings ticket selling time, where I have to sit and sell tickets in the eagle's nest; extra rehearsal time, and of course time for the concert itself and all the pre- and post-concert planning efforts that I will inevitably be involved in. And next weekend is the Franklin and Marshall Invitiational, a three day trials-finals meet that lasts Friday till Sunday up in Pennsylvania. So I'm leaving here Friday morning and returning late Sunday night - which means I must finish my paper by Thursday night - or Thursday afternoon rather. Dear me. Thank God that this week is a taper week, which means shorter and easier practices for the most part. That will mean more time for me to get all my crap done. Will I use that time effectively? I guess we'll have to wait and see....

On another note, this weekend was an interesting experience in family bonding, or not. Squeezing Rachel, Andrew, and me into the back seat of a 5 passenger car wasn't always this difficult, I swear. We had almost massacred each other by the time we got back home today, and I for one don't ever remember being so happy to stretch my legs as I was when we got home. Ah well, the trials and tribulations of having siblings.... On the way down there, after passing through Philadelphia all of the car's pasangers passed out and my dad (the driver) zoned out, missing our exit and continuing to drive for about a half hour, till the rest of us awoke to his mutterings, "I think I missed my exit." My mom started flippin cause even though she was born and bred in New Jersey, she didn't recognize any of the names of the surrounding towns. That was an interesting experience, and a wonderful 1-hour completely out-of-the-way detour. Needless to say, I, with my superior sense of direction, offered to drive, but was threatened several times to shut my mouth or else (still wondering what "else" one can accomplish as a form of punishment in a car...). So yeah that was the beginning of my vacation. Otherwise it was as all past trips to see the NJ crew. Only this time I accompanied my grandfather to his health spa so I could swim a few times, so I actually got out of the house for once. Oh and I helped with Thanksgiving II preparations this year (our big Saturday Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family- 22 total this year) by making a cake rather than my traditional dates stuffed with walnuts and rolled in sugar. It went over well cause I had a mad blast decorating it with different colored icing into a "fall scene." My clown of a cousin and one of my uncles spent the night cracking jokes about how my cake was the result of a hallucinagen drug trip. Thanks guys. They didn't seem to mind eating it. Well, I think I need to get back to work. I still have another paper due in Linguistics, this one is an extra credit paper and it's only 4-5 pages, and I don't have to do any research - it's all my thoughts and analysis. So hopefully it won't take too long to crank out and I can start on my research paper tomorrow. Hopefully....

Meh

Yeah, I haven't really much to say. For all it's eventfulness, this summer has been rather uneventful. I've been working on my tan, well at least I was when it was sunny. Hopefully the sun will return sometime this week.

I've now got a half dozen part time jobs for the summer. And here I was bitching about 4 being too much last summer. Haha. Actually though, these are all way less hours and way more low key. So it's cool. Course two of them are paying next to nothing, but I figure it's worth my sanity and gas.

Glad I finally got those grad ball pictures to work. And that's all I suppose. Can't wait till AJ's back.

Fun Times

Grad Ball was great. I wrote all about it elsewhere though, and I don't feel like repeating myself. Click on the links to see some pictures. Yay for pictures. lol.

the ladies of the evening

me and jen

and my favorite picture:
me and alex

Sheesh, another fangirl. Well, I dont blame you.
How can any woman resist a sexy body, and the
ruggedness that is Wolverine? Hes a loner by
nature, a heavy drinker, and is plagued by
memories of his past...or lack thereof. It may
take time to work your way into his heart, but
when you do, he'll do anything for his woman.
Just be careful, he has a tendency to stab
people in his sleep. ^_^;;


Who Is Your Ideal X-Men 2 Mate? (ladies only)
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And So It Begins

I suppose this is the start of my summer.

I don't recall it feeling quite this blah last year. Or quite this... I don't even know. I want to call it busy, or full.... but it's really not. There's just not enough time in the day for me to do what I really want to do, and that's spend time with Alex. It's a rather perplexing problem, and I find myself at loose ends all to often, wondering what to do about it.

I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Everyone is so excited abut going home
I am not. Curious why? Read and understand:

1. One phone line, dial-up internet. My dependecy on the net is near an end....
2. No cell phone reception. Another plus to living in the boonies.
3. No people. Carmela will be there for a short time, and after that I am alone, all alone. The closest spark of civilization is 3 miles away. Oh boy.
4. No job. Which means that till I get one, I am officially the housemaid. I will be cleaning all rooms, doing all grocery shopping, all yard work, all car washing, and most likely cooking all of my own meals.
5. My brother. Yes I love him dearly, but he's 9. And all he ever does is ask me to play games with him. Over and over and over again. And if it's not that, he'll want me to drive him to his friends houses. And my mother will think that's a very good idea.
6. An extra 15 minutes to get everywhere. Again, isn't living in the boonies grand?
7. My mother, the Puritan. "What do you mean you have a boyfriend?" she gasps. "Well I certainly know that he's not staying with you! That's not why your father and I are paying for school! Are boys even allowed in your dorm room? You'd better find a male friend of yours for him to board with for the night!" In other words, overnight visits will be out of the question.
8. I'm not even going to bother typing what my mother would say if she knew I went clubbing.
9. I'll miss my friends. I'm used to being around you all... and you're all home too. I haven't really kept up with anyone from high school well (my own fault really I'm just lazy), so in the summer I've far less people to chill with.
10. My room = bug paradise. I live in the basement. In the boonies. In an older house with cracks and stuff.
11. My room = Atlantic Ocean during big rainstorms. It's already flooded twice this year, when I wasn't there (thankfully). Maybe we'll have another drought and it'll stay dry from now on....
12. My closet = inufficient storage space. It's necessary for me to maintain storage at home AND school in order to properly hang, put away my clothing. When I move home it ends up on the floor for lack of another place.
13. We all love Wendy's late night. But my mother cannot have me leaving the house that late. And I really ought to be home by midnight you know, because she HAS to stay up and wait for me because she is very worried about my well-being.
****
Yes I've exaggerated some. Yes there are a billion great things about being home too (well maybe like 5), and I do ADORE summer because it means AJ's back and there's no classes for me and I get a tan and quality time when I visit Rach at the beach.

So, summer = good; moving home = bad.

I think we all understand now.

Class dismissed.

Your Hottest Body Part is Your Butt!

From the back you're mistaken for J-Lo.

You are a rump-shaking dynamo on the dance floor.

Thongs were invented just for you.

You're able to please your man sexually in all sorts of ways - especially through your back door.

You put the ass in ASSett.

Baby, you got back, and you're proud of it.



Celebs who work their ass as hard as you do include: Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue, Christina Aguilera, and of course, J-Lo.



Want to play up your ass even more?

Try low rise jeans and vinyl pants, schoolgirl skirts, and form fitting shorts.

And of course, g-strings and thongs only - no squishing that fine ass with panty lines.



What's Your Hottest Body Part??

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Your Stripper Name is Candy Delight!

You are always the feature dancer at the best clubs.

Your customers pay big money to see you, even if it means starving six days of the week.

For you, stripping is an art form, and you are a grande artiste.

Very classy and never trashy - you won't stoop to doing anything sleazy.

You are constantly posing in magazines and winning Miss Nude contests.

In StripperLand, you are the ultimate queen.

Other strippers may be jealous by all the attention you get, but you walk away with the most money!



What's *Your* Stripper Name?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

You're here searching for the college experience,
and you likely got it.


Why are you at college?
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I knew someone in the world could read!


How literate are you?
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Food'll do that to you sometimes

Freshman year I used to cook pasta with alfredo for Lindsay and myself. We'd sit in her room (cause my roommate was omnipresent in mine and made it smell) on her bed and drink tea and eat pasta and chit chat.

Things are a lot different now. I made pasta salad for myself tonight, and got to thinking about what a solitary person I am. My theme song, according to emode, is Independant Woman. Seems I've forgotten that lately.

But today I remembered. I woke up feeling clearer than I have in a while. I don't really know why.

I had a lot of thoughts today, about myself, and about my relationships with other people. A great breakfast with Jen seemed to set the pace for the rest of the day. And walking to grab salad dressing and fresh veggies from the nest (of which they had none, bastards), I realized how alone I am all the time. And for the most part I don't even think of it, I'm used to doing things by myself and taking care of myself. But it was so different last year.

And I came to recognize this as a pattern. I'm not the type to hang out in big groups all the time, with whom I do everything and go everywhere. Instead I'll make one or two or three really great friends, and those I hang onto and do everything with. And when they leave, I feel lost. And I hang in a kind of limbo for quite some time until I find another group, and within that group maybe one or two good friends. (Do keep in mind that this doesn't mean I'm friendless at times, I always have people around me whom I term as friends, but there's a difference between those I'll hang with on occasion and those who I make a real effort to be with every day or every other).

It's a pattern I've repeated several times in my life. It's so strange now though, cause I've still got those best friends... they're just far away.

And I did find that friend, or group of friends, to hang out with. Thanks to my sister and Amanda. Rachel suggested that Jen and I travel together to visit her last semester. And after 4 hours of discussion in the car, a true friendship was born. Amanda invited me over to visit at her and Jen's and Lisa-Marie's and (at the time) Dave's apartment. And a group friendship was born. And those girls have been a backbone for me this year. Wonderful friends, shopping and drinking companions, confidantes, everything I could want or ask for.

And now they're all leaving.

I'm so sad to see them graduate, but I know what it means to them. It's time to move on. I only hope that we can continue our friendships on some level after they are gone. Becaue I've always said, "hey keep in touch!" but this time I actually mean it. And I plan on making a real effort too.

As for next year? My expectations are none. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see... each day comes regardless of my expectations. Fall will be here soon enough, and then I will see what happens. Things change yet life continues. Perhaps not for everybody, but it does continue.

that was the longest hour of my life. it's hard to see when there are tears in your eyes.